Dear Diary

Don't take two months off

surgery sucks

air alert is still hard

LOVE

DOOBER

I think I have been accidentally fostering a losing attitude in practice for years.


I've always preached trying to learn at practice, to not try and 'win' practice. To involve the tier 2/3 players rather than just playing through your studs.


But that doesn't teach someone the will to win. That doesn't teach someone to body up and lock their man down. That doesn't teach someone the killer instinct of when to strike. That doesn't teach someone to put the team on their back, get every other touch, and dominate a point.

A lot of times the teams that I have played for find them self near the end of a tight game and trying to play nice. They try to incorporate everyone. They say "they're open, I should throw this" rather than "The game is on the line. Who do I want to have the disc?". They don't play selfish when they need to.

It gives them an easy-out. It becomes "They should have caught that. They lost the game for us" "I made the right decision. They were open". The loss is no longer their fault. It allows them a logical way to displace the blame.

But that's not how you win. If you are among the best players on the team/the line/that point, it is your fault if the team loses. You have to be the one getting the ball. You have to be the one making the throws.

If you are forced into making a less-than-guaranteed play, wouldn't you rather it go through your stud?



It is hard to close out games when you are trying to make the 'right' play rather than the 'winning' play. And everything starts at practice.

I wonder if I should have delayed this surgery for years

I have no idea how much not having a rotator cuff affected my throws, but I know right now that I can't really throw a backhand further than ten yards outside.



Honestly, if I can make it back, the surgery will be great. I have been focusing very hard on cocking my wrist back as far as I can and snapping my wrist as hard as I can whenever I throw, and it shows. When I lose focus, my throws are shit. When I keep it, my throws are passable.  This surgery has shown me how much I crutched on just brute-forcing throws out.

Its encouraging, in a way. It means that part of my throwing form was good. I was able to translate my upper-body strength into accuracy and distance. It means that if I take my next couple of months, the couple of months where my arm is still getting back to that kind of strength, and focus on refining my wrist snap and use of lower body, that when I can put it all together my throws will be super nice.

Its also discouraging. That if I can't manage to refine my throws, that I will be useless come Regionals and club season. That if I can't improve the mechanics of my throws, I might not be playing ultimate this upcoming club season.

Returning from major surgery is very weird. I have been a very all-or-nothing type of player my entire career. I have never worked out 'a little'. I have never trained occasionally. I either went hard and was very strict, or did nothing. I can't do that. I can't just bench press my way out of this one (this is a Jingle all the way joke. It's OK, I barely remembered it too.) I can run, I can get in better shape, but at the end of the day I am a thrower and my arm just needs time.

Then again, my strengths have always lied in my decision making, in my positioning and knowing when to strike. Just because I can only dial in my forehand from 40 yards out rather than 60 really shouldn't impact my game much. I've gained a lot in other aspects. Would I like to still have the accurate 60-yard-bomb? Sure I would.

But I bet this surgery is going to make be a better player in ways that I don't even realize.

I think I will have to be a distributor for one more season. But I don't think I can really complain about distributing to the kind of people I have this year.

Plus, I even get to play some D-Line.

Let's stop complaining and start getting excited.

What would Macho Man Randy Savage do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIaK3hEJiX0

gotta love the stream of consciousness posts.

holy cow real push ups are so hard this must be a joke

starting off at sets of 5, let's see how far we can go

My arm has not been this sore from throwing since I was a freshman

Boy I hate losing at practice a whole lot

I still think we should have been 'double-hawks'

doing some lifts inbetween games of DotA

oh ya

My favorite pastime is never changing my ratings on league or hat tournament registrations year after year