I wonder if I should have delayed this surgery for years

I have no idea how much not having a rotator cuff affected my throws, but I know right now that I can't really throw a backhand further than ten yards outside.



Honestly, if I can make it back, the surgery will be great. I have been focusing very hard on cocking my wrist back as far as I can and snapping my wrist as hard as I can whenever I throw, and it shows. When I lose focus, my throws are shit. When I keep it, my throws are passable.  This surgery has shown me how much I crutched on just brute-forcing throws out.

Its encouraging, in a way. It means that part of my throwing form was good. I was able to translate my upper-body strength into accuracy and distance. It means that if I take my next couple of months, the couple of months where my arm is still getting back to that kind of strength, and focus on refining my wrist snap and use of lower body, that when I can put it all together my throws will be super nice.

Its also discouraging. That if I can't manage to refine my throws, that I will be useless come Regionals and club season. That if I can't improve the mechanics of my throws, I might not be playing ultimate this upcoming club season.

Returning from major surgery is very weird. I have been a very all-or-nothing type of player my entire career. I have never worked out 'a little'. I have never trained occasionally. I either went hard and was very strict, or did nothing. I can't do that. I can't just bench press my way out of this one (this is a Jingle all the way joke. It's OK, I barely remembered it too.) I can run, I can get in better shape, but at the end of the day I am a thrower and my arm just needs time.

Then again, my strengths have always lied in my decision making, in my positioning and knowing when to strike. Just because I can only dial in my forehand from 40 yards out rather than 60 really shouldn't impact my game much. I've gained a lot in other aspects. Would I like to still have the accurate 60-yard-bomb? Sure I would.

But I bet this surgery is going to make be a better player in ways that I don't even realize.

I think I will have to be a distributor for one more season. But I don't think I can really complain about distributing to the kind of people I have this year.

Plus, I even get to play some D-Line.

Let's stop complaining and start getting excited.

What would Macho Man Randy Savage do?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIaK3hEJiX0

gotta love the stream of consciousness posts.